8 Secrets Why You Shouldn’t Be Attending an Illness Support Group

When you first received the diagnosis of your illness, the odds are that many people around you, perhaps even your doctor, reommended a support group. Reseach has studied the impact support groups have on how well one copes with disease, and it is positive. However, if you have no desire to attend a support group, recognize that it is not uncommon. As with any kind of support group, some support groups you will connect with well and others won’t be a good fit. Don’t jump to the conclusion that all support groups are the same.

But do you really need a support group right now? Whether you are looking for a amyloidosis support group or a diabetes online support group, just as there are many changes that happen to our bodies while living with chronic illness, there are seasons in our life when a support group may be our lifeline and other times when we feel we simply don’t have the need.

Below are eight signs that a support group may be something you do not need right now:

1. You are coping well with the day-to-day aspects of living with illness. You don’t think about your illness non-stop because you’re simply too busy living life.

2. You have a trustworthy group of people who influence you in positive ways. Friends or family members appreciate the magnitude of the choice you make to live your best life possible, despite your daily pain.

3. You don’t experience feelings of anger, bitterness or resentment towards healthy people — at least on a regular basis. You can have relationships with people with comparison of your abilities (or lack of) ever entering your thoughts.

4. You can have conversations with people without your illness ever entering into it. You understand that your illness is not such a vital part of who you are that you need to explain your medical history to every stranger you meet.

5. You don’t look at others with envy. You’ve gotten past the frustration of seeing healthy people not appreciate their health.

6. You have found that when you sit around at support group meetings talking about the highs and lows of living with illness, you rarely leave the meeting feel better. The support group you are in is more depressing than refreshing and talking about your illness doesn’t seem to be helpful.

7. You feel confident in how you are able to be a good advocate for your health and illness. When more information about symptoms or tips about living with your illness are needed, you believe you are well prepared to do the research.

8. You have found at least one dear friend who lives with illness. Being able to talk openly with a good friend who has a realistic idea of what you are coping with can be extremely helpful in your daily living skills. You have the chance to vent or contribute ideas with another person who understands the details and “language” of illness.

If you could relate with all of the signs above, chances are that you don’t need a support group at this time in your life. But guess what? You may be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the signs above that explain your coping skills, can be part of your outline to write a proposal for starting up a support group.

The most thriving support groups are those which are led by people who have conquered the daily exasperation and bitterness that arise during the first years of a diagnosis. Since you have dealt with all of the emotional ups and downs, a support group of individuals still feeling under attack would benefit from your knowledge and understanding.

If leading a support group does not seem to be part of your calling, that’s a typical reaction! Go enjoy other activities you feel passionate about. And don’t forget that there are amazing people in support groups who will be there when you feel you need them.

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