Why You Should NOT Call Him First
March 14, 2008
Picture this - you are out having a great time, you meet a GREAT guy who you just click with. The end of the night rolls around, and you exchange phone numbers. And the panic sets in. “Should I call him? WHEN should I call him? How long should I wait for him to call me?”
Let me give you some advice, woman to woman. Women do NOT make the first call. Do you want to be the one doing the chasing, or do you want him to chase you? 99% of women want the MAN to do the chasing. So let him. It is natural for the man to be the one doing the chasing in a relationship.
Actually, most men LIKE to be the pursuer in a relationship. Women perceived in the roll of the aggressor can be easily misconstrued as pushy, clingy or needy. Even if that was not your intent, it can be seen that way - so - let him call you.
The second reason to let the man be the one to make the first call is “the chase”. If a man has to put NO effort into chasing you, you are totally giving him the advantage. He will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he has you where he wants you, and he can call you, see you, or NOT - at his leisure.
BUT - that is not the only reason you should wait for him to make the first move. What else does taking the effort out of a pursuit do for a man? It kills the attraction. As much as women do NOT want to think of dating as a game - it is. And if you take the fun out - take the element of pursuit out of the picture, you are much more likely to douse the fire of attraction just when the flames were starting to leap.
The third reason you should let the man call you is to show him that you are sought after. You are not sitting him waiting for his call. You are busy, out there with your friends, not pining away for him like some lovesick little girl. And he will believe that what HE wants, other men want.
And when he DOES finally call? DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. Remember - you are in demand! You are out having fun! Where? He doesn’t know. Maybe with another guy. Maybe not. But let his imagination prick his toes for a bit and he will want you more and more. If you can stand it, wait until the next day to call him. If not, at least give it a couple hours.
The fourth and final reason you should let the man do the calling, at least in the beginning of the relationship, is simply for your own peace of mind. As a woman, I KNOW how you will sit there and wonder if he is really into you or just being nice. Well, if he is calling YOU for dates, that takes the wonder out of it.
As a woman, you should always let the man do the calling at the beginning of the relationship. So the next time you get that phone number - snuggle it, kiss it, tape it to your fridge, but do NOT place that call. Let him be the man and do the chasing. You will feel better for letting him!
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